I wonder how many of us actually assess ourselves about how loving we’re becoming. All of us want to be treated fairly and with dignity and respect, but perhaps we seldom reflect on how we can do the same to others. How we treat other people is a sign of how good we are at loving people. It’s easy to love people who we get along with and enjoy being with. It’s an entirely different thing when it pertains to people who get on our nerves, rub us the wrong way, look and act differently than me, etc. Are you able to still show people dignity and respect when you don’t agree with them? Are you able to do it when they’ve wronged you? Are you able to do it if they’ve done something awful in their past? Where do we draw the line as to when it’s okay NOT to treat people with dignity and respect? That’s a scary question. I would suggest that most of us need to move that line much further out. How can we be more inclusive?
Give The Benefit Of the Doubt
The reason I suggest this is because all of us have done terrible things, have made mistakes we’re not proud of and we still expect people to show us dignity and respect. Part of loving others is giving people the benefit of the doubt. I used to make snap judgments and get really upset over the little things. For example, how do you react when someone driving doesn’t put on their blinker to let you know they’ll be turning? Some of you show them the single digit salute, some of you curse and yell at them and others of us just let it roll right off us. For me, I used to get irritated until one day I got stuck using someone else’s car and the blinker didn’t work. I actually had to start the car with a screwdriver so that should tell you something about the car. Well, as I’m driving around unable to put on my blinker, I had to deal with all the people who honked their horns, flipped me off and cursed at me, which really put me in a good mood!!! I found myself wanting to yell at them that I couldn’t put my blinker on because it was broken so LET UP….But, now whenever someone doesn’t put on their blinker, I tell myself, “Maybe it’s broken.” Give people the benefit of the doubt. Ask yourself why you’re really getting angry – it probably has nothing to do with them; if you’re driving, you don’t even know the other person. But for people you do know, try to be more empathic and put yourselves in their shoes. I tell my kids to giving other kids the benefit of the doubt and to treat people well because you don’t know their situation. Maybe they go home every day to a drunk for a father and don’t know if they’re going to get a beating or not. Maybe, their parents are divorced and they’re struggling with that. I could go on and on because we never know the whole story and because we don’t let’s give people the benefit of the doubt.
Next time you find yourself getting “short” with someone, remind yourself that you don’t know the full story, check your emotions at the door, and then give them the benefit of the doubt. You keep doing this and over time you will be a more loving person!
