No one likes to suffer, whether it’s suffering a loss of a loved one, losing your job, depression, dysfunctional family, physical pain, disease, poverty, etc. Suffering comes in many forms, but the question isn’t whether or not suffering is coming our way (it is), but it’s WHAT will I do about it and HOW do I view it.
What will I do about it?
First, I accept it as a reality of this life and I will not run from it or try to avoid it because in doing so, I will miss out on the essence of true life. For example, if I never risk loving another in the attempt at protecting myself from loss or abandonment then I will never know the joy that comes from truly loving another person. There’s a scene from the movie, “Good Will Hunting” that I love. Robin Williams confronts Matt Damon in the park about what it means to really live life. Matt was an abused kid who was brilliant but he settled in life trying to protect himself from ever getting hurt again. Meanwhile, Robin Williams was suffering the loss of having to watch the love of his life, his wife, struggle through cancer only to watch her lose the battle. Robin challenges Matt by saying something like, “Do I know everything there is to know about you Matt just because I read the book, “Oliver Twist? Do I know what it’s like to be an orphan?” He’s challenging him to see beyond the veneer of protection and to live in the real world where there’s real suffering, but it’s worth it. Robin Williams goes on to share about his love for his wife in both the good and bad times, but that he wouldn’t change a thing because it was real. It was better than a World Series baseball game; it was better than anything life had to offer.
How do I view suffering?
I will embrace it for what it is. It’s the harsh reality of life. Suffering is a part of it so embrace it and learn from it. Grow from it, but don’t let the walls of protection build around you, but instead gain perspective on life and how fleeting it can be. Maybe it will cause you to live life a bit differently. Maybe it will crystallize that which is important and make the trivial be just that, trivial and not worth fretting.
Perhaps, we can look at suffering as the thread that connects all of us to one another. It cuts through racial or socio-economic divides and makes us all simply human. Suffering can make me stronger. Suffering can make me appreciate life, people, beauty, and the simple things of life. Suffering can cause me to change. Suffering can be viewed as a gift. It’s out of pain and suffering that some of the best music is written, the best artwork created, and books written. It’s because we can all relate to suffering. But, let us not play victim, but let us inspire others. Let us live a life worth living. Keep risking, keep changing, and keep loving.
Maybe suffering is a gift – how would your life be different if you viewed it this way?
