With Valentine’s Day coming tomorrow (guys, you do remember it’s tomorrow, right), many of us go out of our way to do some very nice and romantic things for our spouses. I think this is great. Any opportunity you get to express how much you love and appreciate your spouse is a good thing to me, so please take advantage of it. But, for me and my wife, we have never really subscribed to Valentine’s Day – trust me, I’d never abandon it if she wasn’t completely okay with it. But, here’s what I want to really impress upon us today. The love that we demonstrate tomorrow needs to be demonstrated on a regular basis. For most of us guys, we think that our once a year vacation and our once a year Valentines, and our once a year Date is enough. But, I guarantee you that if you ask your spouse, she will say (if she’s honest) that she wishes it was much more often.
Date Nights
I’m a huge proponent of regular date nights. The reason for this is because our spouses need to know that we are prioritizing them first and foremost. Yes, ahead of work, friends, the kids, your hobbies, etc. She is your number one and regularly dating her is one way to show this. If money is tight, it doesn’t have to be expensive. You can go for a wintry walk through Caratunk or a breakfast or a quiet night at home with just the two of you (yes, ship the kids out to their friend’s house). Whatever you do, just make sure you’re carving out time for just the two of you (a date means alone time doing something you both enjoy, just the two of you). This is a great time to go beyond surface talk and discuss some of the more important things in life. Sometimes, it’s simply to go out and have fun. Other times, it should be a night of romance. Dating your spouse says, you’re number one!
Love Language
It’s important to know what love language your spouse is. There was a great book written many years ago called, “The Five Love Languages.” They are acts of service, gifts, quality time, physical touch, and words of affirmation. Over the years of working with lots of couples (and of course, in my own marriage) I have found these to be accurate and helpful. Each of you should know the other’s and then do your best to love them in their language. For example, I know for many women, their love language is acts of service. Guys, here’s a hint to help you get more of what you want, yes, that goes without saying, but if your wife sees you doing the dishes or vacuuming the living room, this is when you are most attractive. Why? Because you’re speaking her language. Ladies, most men need words of affirmation and yet, most women actually hold back the very words that will help your husband to be everything you want him to be. Start pointing out all the things he’s getting right and stop focusing on the few things he’s messing up. This will go a very long way!
Hope this helps and I do wish you all a very Happy Valentine’s Day – all year long!
